Hawaii-Oh-No

Nothing spells ‘awful’ like a dreadful remake of a popular classic TV show or movie, and  CBS’s second attempt at remaking the classic hit TV drama, Hawaii Five-0, is just that, awful!

The cheesy police drama takes place along the shores of O’ahu Hawaii where the skin, surf and string bikinis rule the airwaves.

CBS’s original Hawaii Five-0 first hit the small screens in 1968 and lasted an impressive 12 seasons until 1980, making the hit show the longest continuous-running police drama series.

The original Hawaii Five-0 spawned a hit TV theme song and starred Jack Lord as Detective Steve McGarret; arresting the usual suspects while wearing his signature Cotroneo suits and big wave sculpted hair.  McGarret, as with the new series, is head of the governor-appointed crime-fighting team of Detective Danny Williams, Chin Ho Kelly, and Kona Kalakaua.

Although the 2010 Hawaii Five-0 series may have re-orchestrated the original theme song (only after protests from fans over the first electric guitar theme song flop) and they may fight the same thieves, organized crime, murderers and terrorists terrorizing the island, that’s where the similarities end.

The writing is appalling, with poor story structure, cheesy lines, and constantly using the Hawaiian racist epitaph hao le (pronounced Howly), a Hawaiian derogatory term for white person and main-lander.  In Addition the car chases and gunfights are ridiculously improbable, the explosions are on steroids, somehow Kona’s character transformed from a stout swarthy Hawaiian native man to a petite bikini-clad butt-kicking woman, and the new Detective Steve McGarret, played by Alex O’Loughlin, sports a less than lackluster hair-do.

Steve McGarret Then and Now



The show’s only saving grace is Scott Caan’s character, second in command Detective Danny ‘Danno’ Williams, his witty remarks and strong acting skills boost the shows rating from atrocious to tolerable.

“Those who like the more action-oriented end of the contemporary crime-show spectrum will probably enjoy Hawaii Five-0. It resembles last year’s CBS hit NCIS Los Angeles much more strongly than its 1970s namesake, and that was probably CBS’s intent for the show," said S.T. Karnick of Big Hollywood,  "Admirers of the 1970s version of Hawaii Five-O may not find this show as enjoyable as they would have hoped, but among audiences wanting more shows in the contemporary, action-oriented crime show category, Hawaii Five-0 would seem to have a good chance of success.”

This is definitely not your father’s Hawaii Five-0, but it is your little brother’s!  The action over-packed, police drama in a bikini can be watched Monday nights at 9 p.m. on CBS.